Free time is a luxury until you don't know how to use it. There's nothing wrong with relaxing, hon. That's what breaks are for. Isn't it nice not to have to worry about school on top of work?
But yeah, I've had times where all I felt like doing was putting a DVD in and laying around. I don't even want to play anything. That's the first sign that I'm getting depressed and lonesome, generally -- when I can't even find enjoyment in gaming.

I know what you mean about the writing thing. I want to write something so badly (so maybe I could come back here with something to show for my time gone), but I have nothing. I should start a Firefly-verse fanfic to get the creative juices going. Maybe make my own ship and my own characters....
You should consider prose.

Yeah it's nice not having to worry, but I'm too used to having something always nagging at the back of my mind. How messed up is it that I feel more normal stressed out?

Yeah that's pretty much what I think is happening, becoming depressed and very lonesome is a good description, we really are too much a like.

I probably should try fanfic, I've always kinda looked down on it, but I'm not that good at coming up with original ideas anyway, but I think I could make some decent stories out of pre-existing universes.



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The voice that pierces deep into my chest is like a never-ending cheer.

Oh, trust me, I know what it's like to feel more normal when stressed. I was like that for a long time, where you don't know how to function properly unless something is going on to upset things. My brothers are still like that, but I think it's mostly a PTSD thing for me and my brothers. I don't know what's wrong with you. Maybe I could cut you open and find out?

When I first started writing back in middle school, it was fanfiction. I quickly moved onto original stuff, but I still find it to be sort of theraputic when I have a creative block. I've always looked down on it too, but I think that's because most people write it poorly. They always use the pre-existing characters and make them have very verbal sex. Do they really need so much dialogue to get the point across?
I prefer to insert original characters into the universes and make them have their own adventures as opposed to forcing Mal and Kaylee to have sex in the engine room. It's like third-person rape.

PTSD? I don't know what's wrong with me either. I wouldn't be against the exploritory surgery, as long as it is performed with respect and style.

Yeah I wouldn't change characters personalities to fit my own version, just have make different decisions based on their personality if anything, mainly I'd just give then new situations to deal with, and let the characters figure out a solution that would be in-line with the feel of the actual source material. Maybe add one or two new characters. Now third person rape is a term you really need to coin.

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The voice that pierces deep into my chest is like a never-ending cheer.

Post-traumatic stress disorder.
Don't worry. My scalpal is ornately decorated with celtic knotwork and plated in gold, and all of my syringes are engraved with APC lyrics. It'll be the most stylish cutting-into you've ever had.

When I do use pre-existing characters, I try and keep a level of sameness with their actual personality. I have a hard time sticking to canon though, so in my Firefly universe, the Shepherd probably wouldn't have died. I miss him.

That's it. "Zenquirky" and "third-person rape" are going in my dictionary.

As long as I can keep the scalpal afterwards.

Yeah I'd just have mostly happy endings in my fanfic, I get too attached to characters to kill them off. Maybe Simon, he was my least favorite, but it would be a grand death, most likely in order to save Kaylee from some horrible fate.

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The voice that pierces deep into my chest is like a never-ending cheer.

No! My scalpal. I can make one for you though.

I could kill Inara. I never liked her actress. She looks the part and I like the character, but I think the actress just isn't very good.

But I want the one used on me. *hands you some puppy dog eyes*

I liked the actress personally,I thought she did well while just being Inara aboard the ship. My problems was her role as a Companion, it just seemed like her real personality would make her a bad companion, and that how she seemed to act with her clients was faked, even though she claims to be able to be herself when with clients. I'm not explaining that well, not sure I can. Maybe it was just the actress's inconsistancy with the character, but it was consistantly different. Bah forget it.

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The voice that pierces deep into my chest is like a never-ending cheer.

I guess I just didn't like the way she delivered some of her lines. There was one at the very beginning of Our Mrs. Reynolds that really bothered me, and there are a few others that just feel so awkward. I feel the same way about Teyla from Stargate Atlantis (I don't know if you've ever watched that....)